Must My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Stop Using People for Material?

One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?