This Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! It's the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we consider the TV offerings of the past year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable shortcomings. From awkward spin-offs to confusingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that had us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this love/hate follow-up? Plagued with woeful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of beloved Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final season began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It concluded on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, fans certainly had a hoot dissecting every single “wtf?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to begin listing the flaws. The hilariously leaden writing? The tedious veneration of affluence and consumption? The almost wilful parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. However, a new season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various episodes of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Instead, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any sympathy this show might evoke should be saved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Dodgy figures convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just really dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney picaresques which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the extent to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s performatively enraged commentators, it’s temptingly tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of sleeping dogs, buzzing beehives, Hallmark platitudes and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by immense, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this documentary series opted not to explore them. Instead, the experience was like reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has every right to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Game Show

It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star playing dead and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the smart recruitment of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke milked to a dry pulp but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely breezy, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This international thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she prepared for her most extreme challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was far greater examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who showed up to haul her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a young daughter too.